Lady luck's daughter Miss Fortune seems to love me quite alot... Well, she decided to pay me a big suprise visit on this day that was supposed to be an instrumentally happy day. Let's just say i've never felt more retarded in my life.
It's really quite a smack in the face when you commit something you often preach against, and a big fat package of retribution comes smashing right into you. That was more or less what happened to me. To keep the ramblings short, i don't really feel like elaborating anyway, i got piss drunk and allowed my mobile to be stolen. I feel so stupid i don't even feel like talking to myself.
It's extremely painful, so i can't really listen to any 'advice' or whatever people may have to say to my stupidity. Lessons are supposed to be learnt by yourself... I'm already doing it. Thanks.
It's not the money or the cost of the phone. It's the friggin memories. There were quite abit in there. Photos and videos i don't have backed up. And of course the worst thing of all, all my DAMNED contacts are gone just like that... Bad things just happens all at once. Miss Fortune enjoys giving multiple presents...
In any case, there i was wallowing in self pity after having been robbed, and i made my way straight back to camp early in the morning. I was basically emoing the entire trip back to camp, which mind you is a bloody long trip.
Of course, i knew there was an unsettled issue back in camp. There was already the worry for my 40/50 wallet thing being unsettled and this sort of thing had to happen to me. Basically, i was responsible for the lost of something which can cost up to $2000. That had to be resolved somehow before my OC will sign my clearance for me to ORD.
So there i was, in camp still having a slight hangover, extremely depressed with losing my hand phone and having to force myself to plead, negotiate and talk my way into settling this. It's not a small issue definitely. I can't afford to pay for it, and their idea of 1206 together with my section is just not gonna happen. What kind of shit would i be to drop such a nice bomb on my men just before i ORD?
If there's one thing life as a Spec in the SAF or more particularly an Armour Spec has taught me, is that it's always your fault. It's not your men's fault, it can't be anyone else's fault. It's your fault. Suprisingly, i agree on that completely. When your subordinates do something, it is up to US as 3sg with this stupid rank to ensure that nothing goes wrong. So it is definitely your fault and not theirs. I think it's really important to the new specs to really understand this. It may be a sucky idea but that's just how it is.
Anyway, i'm side tracking... In any case, the only way to settle the issue was that i absorb it as my negligence, but i had to depend on OC to well... Cushion the damage for me...
So it took the entire morning before it was agreed that he will let me off after i write a statement and promise on my integrity that i will return to camp to follow up when called back.
So there i was, with my morale completely drained. From what i heard, ORD is supposed to be a happy event. And even if it were to be sad, it's supposed to be due to stuff like can't bare to leave your men, or some touching good bye event from your company or whatever. Not like that definitely.
It's really depressing to ORD feeling so unappreciated. Almost like me ORDing is a crime. It's my fault for leaving them. And thanks to this incident, which also happend to have occured thanks to my stupidity, i really became a criminal.
That's just how it is in a cruel truth of life. It doesn't matter how much contribution you might have had. It doesn't matter what happens in the past. It doesn't matter how hard you used to work. Countless number of positive events can be neutralised with just a single negativity. In fact, as long as you no longer have anything positive, it's all gone. Add in a negative event, and there you have it. Everything good you ever did is completely erased. This may sound really cynical, maybe even exeggerated, but this is the vibe i'm getting...
By the time all that was settled, it was around 2pm. I went up to my S1 branch, ready to hopefully see the item that might raise my spirits a little. And so nicely as it would all fall together, S1 branch decided to have a half day and i couldn't get my pink ic because they were closed...
Oh well, i couldn't really get any more depressed than i was anyway. Monday it shall be.. I lugged my remaining stuff placed in a trash bag and slowly took a bus followed by train back home. Emoing all the way of course.
I reached home, totally having lost all mood to do anything. The only thing to do was sleep. Sleeping through things at least calmed me down a little. I at least was rationale enough to know i shouldn't stay depressed for long. There was still the ORD celebration with my BMT mates at butter.
Seriously, i was heavily contemplating not turning up at all. It's like i just screwed myself up completely with alcohol the night before. One more time didn't appeal at all. In the end, i decided that if i didn't go, it'd mean that i'm continuing to wallow in self pity, which is something i don't wanna do. So i gave zp a call, arranged something and turned up well... Late...
I guess it was a pretty fun night. I definitely controlled my alcohol intake... I need to remind myself that invincibility was the last thing any liver can be. Normally, i would be able to access how much more alcohol i could take before going bonkers... But i have no idea what screwed me over the night before.
In any case, things are over now, and i've just done a pretty long rant. It's a painful lesson, but i bid Miss Fortune farewell... Thanks for all your help...
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