As usual, it's been some time since i last made a post. Every now and then, the random urge strikes again, and i'm reminded once more that i actually have a blog. Life down under has pretty much gotten to a stage of routine where i'm more or less used to things. I've been blessed in so many ways that leaves me with no choice but to thank my heavenly father for his awesome favour. Great friends, both new and old that spend time together here, away from home. Things have been pretty fun to say the least.
Exams too were a great blessing. Indeed, such results would be unheard of for someone like Lendl in the past. Sure enough, depending on his grace made it all possible. For if it were by my own efforts, it'd be impossible for me to see such results. His favour of course does not stop just there. By his grace once more, I managed to get the researcher i want and everything moves along smoothly and restfully. How awesome is that.
Came back from a trip to Sydney not too long ago. How could holidays not be fun? Indeed I thoroughly enjoyed myself during that trip despite how there may have been some... Mishaps... In the end, fun and enjoyment is pretty much determined by yourself. A person could be doing the most enjoyable thing in the world, but if his heart doesn't know the peace and willingness to let loose and have fun, it'd pretty much be just another depressing and dull experience.
Yet, on the other side of the spectrum, it can be so easy to derive joys and enjoyment even in the simplest of things and activities. For me, living life happy, restful and satisfied is how I wanna live for the rest of my life. I'm glad i'm able to do that even now, enjoying myself in the moment, in everything i do. In my education here in Australia, with the friends i make here, the activities i do here, be it shopping for groceries, cooking, going out for a meal, spending a day sightseeing, the holiday in Sydney, or even just enjoy the peace and quiet at home.
There're more many things one can enjoy in life. Ultimately, it all depends on how you see things. The perspective and outlook. On reflection, I even had fun during the exam period. Even the revision felt strangely enjoyable. Such is the wonder of things when everything is done in rest. Effort and work no longer equate to labour and lethargy. Even things that might not seem enjoyable at first can be achieved smoothly and with a sense of peace that cannot be obtained anywhere else.
I look forward to what life has to bring. I look forward to all the things to come. All the fun to be had, the enjoyments and the journey ahead. I look forward to the coming semester, to the new things I will experience, to working in the lab and later on to doing my honours. I look forward to whatever path my heavenly father lays out ahead of me. How awesome is that?
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
For some reason, i was so bored i suddenly remembered this existed...
Yeah... It's been some time... Weeeellll, it's been quite some time actually. For some reason, i was just lying there, with nothing to do, and i'm suddenly reminded of the possibility of spending a good 30 mins or more if i actually open this up and start typing random stuff. So here i am, making a new post after like uh.. 3 months...
Soooo... Here's an update of my life... Basically, since the previous post of mentioning that i'm about to leave the country of my birth, here i am! Down under! Yay! Well, it's mostly yay, but nostalgia is a bitch... Since it's been three months, i guess i should be talking about what happened to me for the whole of the three months since the last post. This would do well in occupying my time as well.
So, the last few months in Singapore were months to treasure and remember. Indeed, i think i forged i good many awesome memories for me to bring down under. On those nights where i lie of my bed alone, it feels good to reminisce. Well, sometimes it makes me emo, but i'm still glad i have these precious memories to look back on.
So let's talk about what i did in my last few months. Christmas came, aaand well, i did almost nothing i believe... Went to church, great service, and the usual christmas gathering at my 2nd uncle's place. Only this year, it was on christmas day itself and not the eve. Of course i'll have to mention how blessed i am, which i shall not talk too much about it. New year's was good though. Had steamboat at Yilin's place. WAY too much food. That was one prime example of stuffing yourself.
Kinda shows we're really bad at limiting ourselves when shopping for food in a supermarket. Even after everyone stuffed themselves silly, there were still a crap load of food wastage... Baaaad.... We had a count down cheers with some way too sweet wine and quickly gulped down a glass of rootbeer float as dessert before rushing down to junction 8 to catch the 1230am movie for Avatar! Well, we were late... Pretty damn late... Poor Eunice had to wait for us outside and miss the front part.
And then, January was spent doing stuff here and there... Met friends, ate ate and ate, gave more tuition, Ernest included... Went swimming, played L4D2 as many times as i could... Pretty good month all in all. Then came february. Paul flew off first, so we had a final clubbing trip for him. Missed dbl o pretty much. It was great fun thanks to Yilin's friend Lyn sabo-ing her friend Sarah because it's her bday around the corner. We also had our ritualistic bcm during one of those days. DAMN I MISS BCM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!
And then Paul flew, sent him off and up next is CNY. My last chance to catch up with my relatives and wonderful nephews. At this point, i commit all my heart in thanking my heavenly father and my lord Jesus for his favour, blessings and love. I am indeed blessed waaaaay beyond what i can hope to deserve. Indeed, if blessings were deserved, it wouldn't be called favour. I've been repeatedly blessed over.
I won't elaborate much on it, but being the youngest in my generation on my paternal side, and my mother being the youngest among her siblings, you can imagine what happens when the youngest one heads off for studies. In anycase, i am deeply grateful and with many thanks to the blessings i've received, it adds up to the funds i need to aussie studies that much more complete.
Blessings aside, i thorougly enjoyed my cny. It was eating everyday, something that i made certain i enjoyed during my final days in Singapore. I made it a point to eat everything in Singapore i'll miss. My awesome BCM, char kuay tiao, 925 chicken rice and kuay chap, laksa etc etc. There're so many more. I actually even went all out to take photos of them and post on fb... Like totally to torture myself further when i suffer from Singapore food withdrawal symptoms......
Oh and i forgot to mention my own last clubbing trip in Singapore at where else by dbl o. Well, it was just Yilin and me actually, but before that we had sashimi buffet for dinner together with Shu wen and Hui Jing. Of course, my clubbing pal Eugene, whom after years of knowing him, dbl seems to be the only place i've ever seen him at......... It was a good night, pretty fun to remember my last clubbing trip with. Probably shouldn't elaborate too much on a place accessible to the rest of the world.
In any case, the day for me to fly came eventually. And boy was it one blessed send off. Indeed, my heavenly father never fails to constantly remind me just how blessed I am. The whole 'village' turned up at the air port. Just about all my nephews came. Along with my cousins, aunties and of course my family. Not forgetting of course my awesome friends who turned up as well. My sec school mates whom i've known for 8-10 years. Ok let's list them... Yilin, Jing wen, HJ(who didn't fail to remind me of her great sacrifice to turn up), Shalu, Eunice, Mat(YES even SMU coerced delusional Mat). My nyp friends JH and Dawn... Germ, her husband to be Rui liang and JOVAN. Aaand not forgetting Eugene as well...
So after plenty of photos, a slightly teary hug thanks to my sis, plenty of good byes, hugs and waving, i finally checked in and eventually boarded the plane with Hong Sheng. I tried to keep my mind off things by playing my DS, but when it came to the time where i should have gotten some sleep, i realised my inability to do so. And so, i ended up not sleeping at all for the entire flight, my mind wondering everwhere whenever i attempted to enter slumber.
In any case, i arrived at the airport and eventually got to my new house for the next couple of years. Here comes the shag part. We had nothing to eat since the plane, and had not slept the night before. With that sort of condition, we proceeded to begin cleaning the house wherever we can. The rooms in particular having been vacant for some time had loads of cobwebs to clear. Vaccumed the floor, corners, cellings etc and murdered a good 20 over spiders. By the time we were done, it was late afternoon.
Still with nothing to eat and severe lack of sleep, we trudged our way out to explore the school so that we wouldn't become complete lost cows the next day when orientation starts. We finally finished the tour of the school by early evening and by that point, food was desperately needed. Got our meals settled at a 'budget' thai eatery. The budget meal costs $6.50 by the way, and that's probably the cheapest meal you can find around.
The next day, orientation and stuff, explored the school more, load of birds and nature especially at a pond in the school. Met Paul in school and moved around together. We headed down to a neighbouring suburb which had a shopping centre to do some major shopping. Almost couldn't bring the stuff back. With groceries done for the moment, we could finally cook ourselves a decent meal.
In any case, right now, i'm spending my 6th day in Brisbane, and i guess i can say i'm beginning to get used to it. There're still plenty of stuff for me to do, but i know that with the lord on my side, there is no labor involved. And work will naturally become restful. Things i have to do will not be of my own futile efforts, but supernaturally brought forth with favour and blessings. Indeed, God's blessings don't stop. I managed to reduce my degree duration from 1.5 years to 1 year instead. This is something to be rejoiced greatly. Saving half a year will make this a great load of difference.
Indeed, i can see no other source of favour i would ever want to draw from. Blessings aside once more, i'm still missing lots of things. The nights of lying on my bed does indeed bring my mind all over the place. Only the night before, i was reminded of one of the things i knew i'd miss the most. My dog. This has been something i've been rather used to. Everynight when i sleep, my dog would trot into my room and his nails clicking on the floor, and i would know that he has entered. Most of the time, i would then put my hand down to the floor and pat him and scratch his stomach. Sometimes i'll carry him on my bed for him to lie down awhile till he wants to go down and head back to my mom's room to sleep.
Last night, in my semi slumber state, i thought i heard the familiar trotting of his paws and i instinctively reacted to it. For that split second i actually thought i heard my dog. Moments later, i proceeded to fall into a rather emo state......
These moments are inevitable, and i believe i will continue to miss the stuff i've left behind all through the year. Yet, i know that i'm not alone. I have friends here, people with a common agenda. More importantly, i have my heavenly father walking with me and paving the way for me. I will look forward to the day i return to Singapore a year later. How long i'll stay there, i have no idea yet.
After that, i shall commence on my honours year where by God's favour, i will get a project i want and have a fruitful experience. Then, i shall return to the country of my birth, renewed, excited and with peace in my heart.
For now, my journey has only barely started.
Soooo... Here's an update of my life... Basically, since the previous post of mentioning that i'm about to leave the country of my birth, here i am! Down under! Yay! Well, it's mostly yay, but nostalgia is a bitch... Since it's been three months, i guess i should be talking about what happened to me for the whole of the three months since the last post. This would do well in occupying my time as well.
So, the last few months in Singapore were months to treasure and remember. Indeed, i think i forged i good many awesome memories for me to bring down under. On those nights where i lie of my bed alone, it feels good to reminisce. Well, sometimes it makes me emo, but i'm still glad i have these precious memories to look back on.
So let's talk about what i did in my last few months. Christmas came, aaand well, i did almost nothing i believe... Went to church, great service, and the usual christmas gathering at my 2nd uncle's place. Only this year, it was on christmas day itself and not the eve. Of course i'll have to mention how blessed i am, which i shall not talk too much about it. New year's was good though. Had steamboat at Yilin's place. WAY too much food. That was one prime example of stuffing yourself.
Kinda shows we're really bad at limiting ourselves when shopping for food in a supermarket. Even after everyone stuffed themselves silly, there were still a crap load of food wastage... Baaaad.... We had a count down cheers with some way too sweet wine and quickly gulped down a glass of rootbeer float as dessert before rushing down to junction 8 to catch the 1230am movie for Avatar! Well, we were late... Pretty damn late... Poor Eunice had to wait for us outside and miss the front part.
And then, January was spent doing stuff here and there... Met friends, ate ate and ate, gave more tuition, Ernest included... Went swimming, played L4D2 as many times as i could... Pretty good month all in all. Then came february. Paul flew off first, so we had a final clubbing trip for him. Missed dbl o pretty much. It was great fun thanks to Yilin's friend Lyn sabo-ing her friend Sarah because it's her bday around the corner. We also had our ritualistic bcm during one of those days. DAMN I MISS BCM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!
And then Paul flew, sent him off and up next is CNY. My last chance to catch up with my relatives and wonderful nephews. At this point, i commit all my heart in thanking my heavenly father and my lord Jesus for his favour, blessings and love. I am indeed blessed waaaaay beyond what i can hope to deserve. Indeed, if blessings were deserved, it wouldn't be called favour. I've been repeatedly blessed over.
I won't elaborate much on it, but being the youngest in my generation on my paternal side, and my mother being the youngest among her siblings, you can imagine what happens when the youngest one heads off for studies. In anycase, i am deeply grateful and with many thanks to the blessings i've received, it adds up to the funds i need to aussie studies that much more complete.
Blessings aside, i thorougly enjoyed my cny. It was eating everyday, something that i made certain i enjoyed during my final days in Singapore. I made it a point to eat everything in Singapore i'll miss. My awesome BCM, char kuay tiao, 925 chicken rice and kuay chap, laksa etc etc. There're so many more. I actually even went all out to take photos of them and post on fb... Like totally to torture myself further when i suffer from Singapore food withdrawal symptoms......
Oh and i forgot to mention my own last clubbing trip in Singapore at where else by dbl o. Well, it was just Yilin and me actually, but before that we had sashimi buffet for dinner together with Shu wen and Hui Jing. Of course, my clubbing pal Eugene, whom after years of knowing him, dbl seems to be the only place i've ever seen him at......... It was a good night, pretty fun to remember my last clubbing trip with. Probably shouldn't elaborate too much on a place accessible to the rest of the world.
In any case, the day for me to fly came eventually. And boy was it one blessed send off. Indeed, my heavenly father never fails to constantly remind me just how blessed I am. The whole 'village' turned up at the air port. Just about all my nephews came. Along with my cousins, aunties and of course my family. Not forgetting of course my awesome friends who turned up as well. My sec school mates whom i've known for 8-10 years. Ok let's list them... Yilin, Jing wen, HJ(who didn't fail to remind me of her great sacrifice to turn up), Shalu, Eunice, Mat(YES even SMU coerced delusional Mat). My nyp friends JH and Dawn... Germ, her husband to be Rui liang and JOVAN. Aaand not forgetting Eugene as well...
So after plenty of photos, a slightly teary hug thanks to my sis, plenty of good byes, hugs and waving, i finally checked in and eventually boarded the plane with Hong Sheng. I tried to keep my mind off things by playing my DS, but when it came to the time where i should have gotten some sleep, i realised my inability to do so. And so, i ended up not sleeping at all for the entire flight, my mind wondering everwhere whenever i attempted to enter slumber.
In any case, i arrived at the airport and eventually got to my new house for the next couple of years. Here comes the shag part. We had nothing to eat since the plane, and had not slept the night before. With that sort of condition, we proceeded to begin cleaning the house wherever we can. The rooms in particular having been vacant for some time had loads of cobwebs to clear. Vaccumed the floor, corners, cellings etc and murdered a good 20 over spiders. By the time we were done, it was late afternoon.
Still with nothing to eat and severe lack of sleep, we trudged our way out to explore the school so that we wouldn't become complete lost cows the next day when orientation starts. We finally finished the tour of the school by early evening and by that point, food was desperately needed. Got our meals settled at a 'budget' thai eatery. The budget meal costs $6.50 by the way, and that's probably the cheapest meal you can find around.
The next day, orientation and stuff, explored the school more, load of birds and nature especially at a pond in the school. Met Paul in school and moved around together. We headed down to a neighbouring suburb which had a shopping centre to do some major shopping. Almost couldn't bring the stuff back. With groceries done for the moment, we could finally cook ourselves a decent meal.
In any case, right now, i'm spending my 6th day in Brisbane, and i guess i can say i'm beginning to get used to it. There're still plenty of stuff for me to do, but i know that with the lord on my side, there is no labor involved. And work will naturally become restful. Things i have to do will not be of my own futile efforts, but supernaturally brought forth with favour and blessings. Indeed, God's blessings don't stop. I managed to reduce my degree duration from 1.5 years to 1 year instead. This is something to be rejoiced greatly. Saving half a year will make this a great load of difference.
Indeed, i can see no other source of favour i would ever want to draw from. Blessings aside once more, i'm still missing lots of things. The nights of lying on my bed does indeed bring my mind all over the place. Only the night before, i was reminded of one of the things i knew i'd miss the most. My dog. This has been something i've been rather used to. Everynight when i sleep, my dog would trot into my room and his nails clicking on the floor, and i would know that he has entered. Most of the time, i would then put my hand down to the floor and pat him and scratch his stomach. Sometimes i'll carry him on my bed for him to lie down awhile till he wants to go down and head back to my mom's room to sleep.
Last night, in my semi slumber state, i thought i heard the familiar trotting of his paws and i instinctively reacted to it. For that split second i actually thought i heard my dog. Moments later, i proceeded to fall into a rather emo state......
These moments are inevitable, and i believe i will continue to miss the stuff i've left behind all through the year. Yet, i know that i'm not alone. I have friends here, people with a common agenda. More importantly, i have my heavenly father walking with me and paving the way for me. I will look forward to the day i return to Singapore a year later. How long i'll stay there, i have no idea yet.
After that, i shall commence on my honours year where by God's favour, i will get a project i want and have a fruitful experience. Then, i shall return to the country of my birth, renewed, excited and with peace in my heart.
For now, my journey has only barely started.
Monday, November 09, 2009
This took some time...
I guess i'll more or less have to rely on random urges like this to actually update this blog. Anyway, one of those sudden thoughts struck me, and i decided to make a post. Or rather, it's based strongly on boredom of the moment with nothing better to do. Typing kills that sort of boredom see.
The time to leave the country of my birth draws ever closer. There are plenty of mixed feelings involved in this. They mainly involve nostalgia and excitement mixed together in an unhealthy volume. I'm really looking forward to a new life that is very likely going to be extremely different from what i've gone through here. Yet, there are plenty of things i can't bare to let go. Of course i'm talking about things like family friends and all that, but it's mostly the lifestyle.
Generally, when people can't bare certain things, they are usually things that people are used to. If i were to list out all the things i'll miss in Singapore, including the people, it's gonna be a pretty long list. Food would probably be another major factor. Even right now, there're so many food i can instantaneously think of that i'll totally miss... From my upper thomson BCM to 925 chicken rice and kuay chap to the hup lee beehoon under my block and many other stuff that i've come to love in Singapore.
Definitely, i'll miss my dog Brillo a lot. Seriously, i hate to even imagine 2.5 years without seeing my dog. I'll constantly be wondering what his reaction will be when he first sees me after such an extended period of time. It's pretty heart wrenching whenever i try to think about it.
Of course, with all the things i can't bare to let go, these are definitely not gonna hold me back. It's a path i have to take, and i intend to make the fullest out of it.
So let's talk about what i've been doing recently. By God's grace, i'm finally well into the process of getting my driver's licence. This is something i've been procrastinating for way too long already. I'll need his abundant blessings to see me through my TP test one the first attempt.
Of course, i've been giving tuition as a means of survival. Sometimes when i think about it, i find it pretty amazing myself that a person like me can muster forth so much patience when it comes to teaching little kids. Most people who know me on the basal level wouldn't be able to imagine Lendl teaching.
Of course, it really isn't as easy as it seems. Tutoring isn't just about simply telling the stuff to the kids. That's the easy part. It's about imparting and making sure they understand. I've had pretty experating moments, but the experience can be very rewarding in itself. Honestly, the primary 1 kid i was teaching took quite a bit of challenge for me. Thank God my efforts were exercised in his name and hearing the mother's happy voice telling me her son got 90 for maths was pretty rewarding.
Since i'm on that topic, i might as well continue with a self boast of some sort. My other primary 2 kid got the mom to call me in order for him to personally tell me the good news that he got "98/100, highest in class!" Well, good for him and good for me as well i guess. The kid's happy, and i'm comforted to know that i've been doing the right thing.
Anyway, the tutoring will go on till i fly off next year. Both of my tutee's parents are kinda expecting me to like finish teaching the next year stuff before i fly off. Well, i do need that bit of income to survive, so guess i'll continue to do my best. If teaching is truely my calling, i'll have go give it some serious thought in the future. For now however, my next phase in life involves downtown Australia and my education there.
The time to leave the country of my birth draws ever closer. There are plenty of mixed feelings involved in this. They mainly involve nostalgia and excitement mixed together in an unhealthy volume. I'm really looking forward to a new life that is very likely going to be extremely different from what i've gone through here. Yet, there are plenty of things i can't bare to let go. Of course i'm talking about things like family friends and all that, but it's mostly the lifestyle.
Generally, when people can't bare certain things, they are usually things that people are used to. If i were to list out all the things i'll miss in Singapore, including the people, it's gonna be a pretty long list. Food would probably be another major factor. Even right now, there're so many food i can instantaneously think of that i'll totally miss... From my upper thomson BCM to 925 chicken rice and kuay chap to the hup lee beehoon under my block and many other stuff that i've come to love in Singapore.
Definitely, i'll miss my dog Brillo a lot. Seriously, i hate to even imagine 2.5 years without seeing my dog. I'll constantly be wondering what his reaction will be when he first sees me after such an extended period of time. It's pretty heart wrenching whenever i try to think about it.
Of course, with all the things i can't bare to let go, these are definitely not gonna hold me back. It's a path i have to take, and i intend to make the fullest out of it.
So let's talk about what i've been doing recently. By God's grace, i'm finally well into the process of getting my driver's licence. This is something i've been procrastinating for way too long already. I'll need his abundant blessings to see me through my TP test one the first attempt.
Of course, i've been giving tuition as a means of survival. Sometimes when i think about it, i find it pretty amazing myself that a person like me can muster forth so much patience when it comes to teaching little kids. Most people who know me on the basal level wouldn't be able to imagine Lendl teaching.
Of course, it really isn't as easy as it seems. Tutoring isn't just about simply telling the stuff to the kids. That's the easy part. It's about imparting and making sure they understand. I've had pretty experating moments, but the experience can be very rewarding in itself. Honestly, the primary 1 kid i was teaching took quite a bit of challenge for me. Thank God my efforts were exercised in his name and hearing the mother's happy voice telling me her son got 90 for maths was pretty rewarding.
Since i'm on that topic, i might as well continue with a self boast of some sort. My other primary 2 kid got the mom to call me in order for him to personally tell me the good news that he got "98/100, highest in class!" Well, good for him and good for me as well i guess. The kid's happy, and i'm comforted to know that i've been doing the right thing.
Anyway, the tutoring will go on till i fly off next year. Both of my tutee's parents are kinda expecting me to like finish teaching the next year stuff before i fly off. Well, i do need that bit of income to survive, so guess i'll continue to do my best. If teaching is truely my calling, i'll have go give it some serious thought in the future. For now however, my next phase in life involves downtown Australia and my education there.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Ooverrdueeee
Ok so it's been a pretty long time since i last posted... Just had the mood all of a sudden to do some random typing, and so here i am... Let's see... It's been a few months since i left the service, let's just say life has been... Mediocre.
I must say, i actually miss army life quite a bit... Insanity no doubt, but there're always feelings of nostalgia whenever you move on. Not like i totally love everything that i went through, but there're just some parts that makes me sit there thinking about some of the old times...
The one thing most people that have ORDed would realise is that army life really is a very simple life. It's at the very least carefree. You may face nonsensical shits, but at least you know they aren't gonna affect the rest of your life all that much. So you can just live everyday as it is. Besides, it's always nice when you constantly have something to look forward to.
I feel it's so much easier to live a life and pass time when you have something to look forward to. It doesn't have to be something big, just every now and then, perhaps an upcoming activity, a meeting with old friends or anything, as long as there's something to look forward to, time passess happier.
In any case, not that my life has nothing to look forward to now, if anything there's the largest thing i'll be looking forward to, but nostalgia is a hard feeling to combat. There's always this mixed feeling going on. One side i really can't wait to get to Australia and begin my all new phase in life, the other side, i just can't bare to let certain things go... Like i haven't enjoyed enough yet...
Right now, giving tuition to kiddies is my main source of time spender and also how i survive on a day to day basis. I'm not getting all that much money, but at least my time is determined by myself. In a way, this is a different sort of lifestyle by itself. I'm beginning to be really impressed with myself for the amount of patience i sometimes have to generate, and i truely thank God for the resillence needed and the emphathy to understand and properly teach the kids.
Now all i need is for all these qualities to apply for the rest of my life. Anyway, it's not like i don't enjoy teaching them. It can be quite fun really. I do get a form of entertainment when i teach, and i guess this might be sort of my calling or something. It feels great when you can make someone understand something they did not previously.
Well, in any case, it won't be long before i have to really start preparing for the next 2.5 years of my life. There're actually quite a number of things i'll need to settle. Visa, confirming my accomodation, getting money over, and the whole load of things i'll need to buy. In the end, money is always the biggest issue. Well, no issue is an issue if we place it unto our father God...
I must say, i actually miss army life quite a bit... Insanity no doubt, but there're always feelings of nostalgia whenever you move on. Not like i totally love everything that i went through, but there're just some parts that makes me sit there thinking about some of the old times...
The one thing most people that have ORDed would realise is that army life really is a very simple life. It's at the very least carefree. You may face nonsensical shits, but at least you know they aren't gonna affect the rest of your life all that much. So you can just live everyday as it is. Besides, it's always nice when you constantly have something to look forward to.
I feel it's so much easier to live a life and pass time when you have something to look forward to. It doesn't have to be something big, just every now and then, perhaps an upcoming activity, a meeting with old friends or anything, as long as there's something to look forward to, time passess happier.
In any case, not that my life has nothing to look forward to now, if anything there's the largest thing i'll be looking forward to, but nostalgia is a hard feeling to combat. There's always this mixed feeling going on. One side i really can't wait to get to Australia and begin my all new phase in life, the other side, i just can't bare to let certain things go... Like i haven't enjoyed enough yet...
Right now, giving tuition to kiddies is my main source of time spender and also how i survive on a day to day basis. I'm not getting all that much money, but at least my time is determined by myself. In a way, this is a different sort of lifestyle by itself. I'm beginning to be really impressed with myself for the amount of patience i sometimes have to generate, and i truely thank God for the resillence needed and the emphathy to understand and properly teach the kids.
Now all i need is for all these qualities to apply for the rest of my life. Anyway, it's not like i don't enjoy teaching them. It can be quite fun really. I do get a form of entertainment when i teach, and i guess this might be sort of my calling or something. It feels great when you can make someone understand something they did not previously.
Well, in any case, it won't be long before i have to really start preparing for the next 2.5 years of my life. There're actually quite a number of things i'll need to settle. Visa, confirming my accomodation, getting money over, and the whole load of things i'll need to buy. In the end, money is always the biggest issue. Well, no issue is an issue if we place it unto our father God...
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Been some time
Well, haven't crapped in some randomness for some time.. So i guess i'm due for some crapping self gratification or something. Anyway, i've ORDed over a month. Feels quite different here and there, but who can't get used to slacking? In any case, i actually do miss 'army days' now that i think about it. There were some pretty awesome moments, as many shitty moments as there are.
And well, it took one whole bloody month for my testimonial and transcript to be ready. This probably sound like some self loving prat kind of thing, but it feels good to read a page long of praises for yourself. That's the deal with testimonials i guess. You basically get good ones if the one writing for you has a good command of English and doesn't hate you. That's all it takes. In any case, there were some funny bits in there though...
Well, i got that laminated picture collage souvenir thingy as well. Pretty nice i guess, at least it's personalised. Although i don't really agree with some of the picture selections and the fact that the thing contains a name other than my own... It's like... Pretty -_- for lack of the right vocabulary to describe...
Anyway, i've basically been doing well, nothing much actually. I've been giving tuition to my nephews and that's about everything constructive that i've been doing. I've been uh... Attempting to keep fit as well... Anyway, thank GOD for savings and blessings. Otherwise i'd be dead by now. Probably need to get my lazy ass to finding more tuition or something.
Still haven't gotten a new phone... I'm actually procrastinating even that. Currently surviving on a charity case by Yilin. Well, the phone works fine soo... I'll get it soon. It's just hard to get my mother to go down with me since the plan is to use her line to upgrade. Otherwise i'll have to wait till end of the year when my own line reaches 21 months.
Hmmm... I seem to feel a somewhat severe lack of inspiration for crapping. Haven't actually compared, but from the fatigue level of my fingers, i reckon this is a pretty short post compared to my uh.. Previous one.. Oh well...
And well, it took one whole bloody month for my testimonial and transcript to be ready. This probably sound like some self loving prat kind of thing, but it feels good to read a page long of praises for yourself. That's the deal with testimonials i guess. You basically get good ones if the one writing for you has a good command of English and doesn't hate you. That's all it takes. In any case, there were some funny bits in there though...
Well, i got that laminated picture collage souvenir thingy as well. Pretty nice i guess, at least it's personalised. Although i don't really agree with some of the picture selections and the fact that the thing contains a name other than my own... It's like... Pretty -_- for lack of the right vocabulary to describe...
Anyway, i've basically been doing well, nothing much actually. I've been giving tuition to my nephews and that's about everything constructive that i've been doing. I've been uh... Attempting to keep fit as well... Anyway, thank GOD for savings and blessings. Otherwise i'd be dead by now. Probably need to get my lazy ass to finding more tuition or something.
Still haven't gotten a new phone... I'm actually procrastinating even that. Currently surviving on a charity case by Yilin. Well, the phone works fine soo... I'll get it soon. It's just hard to get my mother to go down with me since the plan is to use her line to upgrade. Otherwise i'll have to wait till end of the year when my own line reaches 21 months.
Hmmm... I seem to feel a somewhat severe lack of inspiration for crapping. Haven't actually compared, but from the fatigue level of my fingers, i reckon this is a pretty short post compared to my uh.. Previous one.. Oh well...
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Some randomness...
Had a sudden urge to crap around a little, so i decided to make a new post... Well, i've kinda gotten over my devastating loss... In the midst of trying to gather back my contacts. I guess this kinda saves me the trouble of pruning my contacts where i'll be sitting there thinking 'should i delete this fella's number'. The numbers i do manage to get back are probably the ones that matter.
In any case, i've gotten the long awaited pink object. Well, a little late officially, but you know, it doesn't really make a difference. Then again, now that when you actually reach that day you've heard so much about, i'm not really getting the hype that it's supposed to bring... Can't really feel any joy if you can call it that actually...
I guess just like enlisting needed getting used to, so would ORDing... In any case, i'll probably still need to go back to camp one of these days... Friggin incompetent administration this battallion has... It's not as if we suddenly decided to ORD or anything. Whatever excuses they can churn up, all it takes is for them to plan their stuff ahead. What kind of shit battallion can't even give us our transcripts and testimonial on time? They can even tell me 'we have no idea when it'll be ready'
Well done guys... Anyway, i always pictured my ORD to contain some emotional moments where they actually have some kind of event of farewell or whatever you wanna call it. Or at least have some quality goodbye moments... It was completely not present. I went back to camp on a day where most of the people were out for live firing. This probably contributes to why this ORD feeling is so mellow and lacking...
Anyway seriously, i don't know what i want. Am i looking for some kind of touching farewell or elaborated well wishes? Have i reduced myself to such a level that i'm actually seeking such forms of gratification? Maybe i'm just so convinced with myself that i've worked too hard for my net worth that i need some form of gratitude or appreciation to uh... Satisfy my sub-consious grudging urges... I don't even know if i'm making any sense, but there's just this damned feeling i can't get over.
A little time'll probably clear everything. But i think i can say there's definitely alot of nostalgia going for me. Probably much more than anyone else from what i've observed so far. In fact, i'm beginning to think i'm the only insane person to actually feel like that. I mean it's like, for most of my peers, they basically can confidently say they don't give a shit about what happens to this company/battallion or anything else that happens in SAF. Some can even go to the extend of almost severing ties with everyone just like that.
But i definitely can't. I'll still think about how they're gonna do. I'll still think about whether this bunch of our 'sucessors' if you can call them that will prove to be of any worth. I'll still wonder if they'll do well in Wallaby at the end of this year. I'll still basically just wonder how they're all doing. Seeing the state of the place and the direction things are going towards from the time i'm leaving, it doesn't look good at all actually.
I don't know what this organisation is doing, but their training schools for commanders are seriously becoming bull shit. The name they coined called Specialist is DEFINITELY no where an apt description for the 3sgs they're churning out. Specialist? In what friggin way do these insecure, unsure and practically untrained people resemble someone who should be named a specialist? They barely have the most basic of the knowledge they NEED to have for their job to be done. It's ridiculous. I have no idea what they're doing. Can you even call things training with the state they are at when they're slapped their ranks on?
And don't get me started on the Officers. Evidently, it is just going to get worst. I don't know which moron came up with this idea that they should stop screwing cadets and give them the 'ai de jiao yu' treatment, but wake up your bloody idea. You're gonna slap this rank on some kid that forces an old seasoned warrant officer in the army to pay compliments to them and the way they get this rank is by having a fun time in OCS?
Hello? WTF is up with that? When you give someone power, they NEED to understand the feeling and hardships of getting such power. When you give someone responsibilities, they NEED to understand the difficulties of baring such responsibilities. When you give someone the ability to completely screw a person up, they NEED to have been completely screwed by someone before, in order to understand what it feels like.
I mean, would you willingly go through shit that is put through to you by someone who has never been through shit himself? To put that in literal translation, let's say you have NO CHOICE but to put your face into a pile of shit. Would you feel better if the person who told you to do it has done the same thing himself or if that person is someone who don't even know what shit looks like?(I know that is logically impossible, but i'm just trying to illustrate a point)
That might not be the best analogy, but i think it works enough to get my point across. Let's just say you won't do shit a pussy asks you to do. And if you don't wack these cadets, they all just become pussy officers who have nothing to back them up.
Seriously, no offence to the new people who get into OCS and are basically the target of my sudden flaming outburst, but i'm targetting at the stupid system. Not you guys. Ain't really your fault actually. But the thing is, what is this organisation coming to if OCS cadets are actually having FUN in their training? They're actually enjoying every moment of it? OCS has become EASY to get by? WTF IS UP WITH THAT???!!!!!!! OCS is SUPPOSED to be a shitty place. That's what makes obtaining the rank so valuable.
It's becoming more and more of a joke as time goes by for the SAF to call itself a military organisation. A military is supposed to be a tough place. Yeah i know we're getting all 3G and stuff, but shouldn't basic resillence be still a requirement if you wanna be called a SOLDIER? I really don't think Singaporean men need this pussy treatment. So many generations have gotten by with WAY tougher NS training. They really shouldn't make it any easier than it's already becoming. That just makes things pointless.
They actually think it's a good idea to have this hotline for random idiots to call up and whine about how their 'mistreated' conveniently exegerrating things up by about fifty fold most of the time and they choose to listen to this person with nothing to back up his claims and have no contribution for the organisation and give problems to the people in the organisation who actually work. No wonder no one wants to work for this place. No wonder good regulars are getting sick of this place.
Let's face it. When you're scared of parents complaining to the MP, complaining about this and that, in the end, you're NOT a military. You're no different from any school or whatever.
I may sound like some crazy garang guy that enjoys tough training and loves NS. Trust me, i'm anything but that. Just like any other average Singaporean, i don't like the fact that NS has wasted 2 years of my time. But if i already have no choice but to waste 2 years of my life, i wanna make this 2 years at least worth something different. If i'm gonna be spending 2 years of my life supposedly training to be a soldier as i'm told and i turn out to be just another pussy, i see even more no point in things.
Thank GOD i think my 2 years wasn't as pussified. I can't say for sure for the future generations to come. I'm probably really crazy though...
In any case, i've gotten the long awaited pink object. Well, a little late officially, but you know, it doesn't really make a difference. Then again, now that when you actually reach that day you've heard so much about, i'm not really getting the hype that it's supposed to bring... Can't really feel any joy if you can call it that actually...
I guess just like enlisting needed getting used to, so would ORDing... In any case, i'll probably still need to go back to camp one of these days... Friggin incompetent administration this battallion has... It's not as if we suddenly decided to ORD or anything. Whatever excuses they can churn up, all it takes is for them to plan their stuff ahead. What kind of shit battallion can't even give us our transcripts and testimonial on time? They can even tell me 'we have no idea when it'll be ready'
Well done guys... Anyway, i always pictured my ORD to contain some emotional moments where they actually have some kind of event of farewell or whatever you wanna call it. Or at least have some quality goodbye moments... It was completely not present. I went back to camp on a day where most of the people were out for live firing. This probably contributes to why this ORD feeling is so mellow and lacking...
Anyway seriously, i don't know what i want. Am i looking for some kind of touching farewell or elaborated well wishes? Have i reduced myself to such a level that i'm actually seeking such forms of gratification? Maybe i'm just so convinced with myself that i've worked too hard for my net worth that i need some form of gratitude or appreciation to uh... Satisfy my sub-consious grudging urges... I don't even know if i'm making any sense, but there's just this damned feeling i can't get over.
A little time'll probably clear everything. But i think i can say there's definitely alot of nostalgia going for me. Probably much more than anyone else from what i've observed so far. In fact, i'm beginning to think i'm the only insane person to actually feel like that. I mean it's like, for most of my peers, they basically can confidently say they don't give a shit about what happens to this company/battallion or anything else that happens in SAF. Some can even go to the extend of almost severing ties with everyone just like that.
But i definitely can't. I'll still think about how they're gonna do. I'll still think about whether this bunch of our 'sucessors' if you can call them that will prove to be of any worth. I'll still wonder if they'll do well in Wallaby at the end of this year. I'll still basically just wonder how they're all doing. Seeing the state of the place and the direction things are going towards from the time i'm leaving, it doesn't look good at all actually.
I don't know what this organisation is doing, but their training schools for commanders are seriously becoming bull shit. The name they coined called Specialist is DEFINITELY no where an apt description for the 3sgs they're churning out. Specialist? In what friggin way do these insecure, unsure and practically untrained people resemble someone who should be named a specialist? They barely have the most basic of the knowledge they NEED to have for their job to be done. It's ridiculous. I have no idea what they're doing. Can you even call things training with the state they are at when they're slapped their ranks on?
And don't get me started on the Officers. Evidently, it is just going to get worst. I don't know which moron came up with this idea that they should stop screwing cadets and give them the 'ai de jiao yu' treatment, but wake up your bloody idea. You're gonna slap this rank on some kid that forces an old seasoned warrant officer in the army to pay compliments to them and the way they get this rank is by having a fun time in OCS?
Hello? WTF is up with that? When you give someone power, they NEED to understand the feeling and hardships of getting such power. When you give someone responsibilities, they NEED to understand the difficulties of baring such responsibilities. When you give someone the ability to completely screw a person up, they NEED to have been completely screwed by someone before, in order to understand what it feels like.
I mean, would you willingly go through shit that is put through to you by someone who has never been through shit himself? To put that in literal translation, let's say you have NO CHOICE but to put your face into a pile of shit. Would you feel better if the person who told you to do it has done the same thing himself or if that person is someone who don't even know what shit looks like?(I know that is logically impossible, but i'm just trying to illustrate a point)
That might not be the best analogy, but i think it works enough to get my point across. Let's just say you won't do shit a pussy asks you to do. And if you don't wack these cadets, they all just become pussy officers who have nothing to back them up.
Seriously, no offence to the new people who get into OCS and are basically the target of my sudden flaming outburst, but i'm targetting at the stupid system. Not you guys. Ain't really your fault actually. But the thing is, what is this organisation coming to if OCS cadets are actually having FUN in their training? They're actually enjoying every moment of it? OCS has become EASY to get by? WTF IS UP WITH THAT???!!!!!!! OCS is SUPPOSED to be a shitty place. That's what makes obtaining the rank so valuable.
It's becoming more and more of a joke as time goes by for the SAF to call itself a military organisation. A military is supposed to be a tough place. Yeah i know we're getting all 3G and stuff, but shouldn't basic resillence be still a requirement if you wanna be called a SOLDIER? I really don't think Singaporean men need this pussy treatment. So many generations have gotten by with WAY tougher NS training. They really shouldn't make it any easier than it's already becoming. That just makes things pointless.
They actually think it's a good idea to have this hotline for random idiots to call up and whine about how their 'mistreated' conveniently exegerrating things up by about fifty fold most of the time and they choose to listen to this person with nothing to back up his claims and have no contribution for the organisation and give problems to the people in the organisation who actually work. No wonder no one wants to work for this place. No wonder good regulars are getting sick of this place.
Let's face it. When you're scared of parents complaining to the MP, complaining about this and that, in the end, you're NOT a military. You're no different from any school or whatever.
I may sound like some crazy garang guy that enjoys tough training and loves NS. Trust me, i'm anything but that. Just like any other average Singaporean, i don't like the fact that NS has wasted 2 years of my time. But if i already have no choice but to waste 2 years of my life, i wanna make this 2 years at least worth something different. If i'm gonna be spending 2 years of my life supposedly training to be a soldier as i'm told and i turn out to be just another pussy, i see even more no point in things.
Thank GOD i think my 2 years wasn't as pussified. I can't say for sure for the future generations to come. I'm probably really crazy though...
Saturday, June 13, 2009
ORD day? Not a good day i'm afraid...
Lady luck's daughter Miss Fortune seems to love me quite alot... Well, she decided to pay me a big suprise visit on this day that was supposed to be an instrumentally happy day. Let's just say i've never felt more retarded in my life.
It's really quite a smack in the face when you commit something you often preach against, and a big fat package of retribution comes smashing right into you. That was more or less what happened to me. To keep the ramblings short, i don't really feel like elaborating anyway, i got piss drunk and allowed my mobile to be stolen. I feel so stupid i don't even feel like talking to myself.
It's extremely painful, so i can't really listen to any 'advice' or whatever people may have to say to my stupidity. Lessons are supposed to be learnt by yourself... I'm already doing it. Thanks.
It's not the money or the cost of the phone. It's the friggin memories. There were quite abit in there. Photos and videos i don't have backed up. And of course the worst thing of all, all my DAMNED contacts are gone just like that... Bad things just happens all at once. Miss Fortune enjoys giving multiple presents...
In any case, there i was wallowing in self pity after having been robbed, and i made my way straight back to camp early in the morning. I was basically emoing the entire trip back to camp, which mind you is a bloody long trip.
Of course, i knew there was an unsettled issue back in camp. There was already the worry for my 40/50 wallet thing being unsettled and this sort of thing had to happen to me. Basically, i was responsible for the lost of something which can cost up to $2000. That had to be resolved somehow before my OC will sign my clearance for me to ORD.
So there i was, in camp still having a slight hangover, extremely depressed with losing my hand phone and having to force myself to plead, negotiate and talk my way into settling this. It's not a small issue definitely. I can't afford to pay for it, and their idea of 1206 together with my section is just not gonna happen. What kind of shit would i be to drop such a nice bomb on my men just before i ORD?
If there's one thing life as a Spec in the SAF or more particularly an Armour Spec has taught me, is that it's always your fault. It's not your men's fault, it can't be anyone else's fault. It's your fault. Suprisingly, i agree on that completely. When your subordinates do something, it is up to US as 3sg with this stupid rank to ensure that nothing goes wrong. So it is definitely your fault and not theirs. I think it's really important to the new specs to really understand this. It may be a sucky idea but that's just how it is.
Anyway, i'm side tracking... In any case, the only way to settle the issue was that i absorb it as my negligence, but i had to depend on OC to well... Cushion the damage for me...
So it took the entire morning before it was agreed that he will let me off after i write a statement and promise on my integrity that i will return to camp to follow up when called back.
So there i was, with my morale completely drained. From what i heard, ORD is supposed to be a happy event. And even if it were to be sad, it's supposed to be due to stuff like can't bare to leave your men, or some touching good bye event from your company or whatever. Not like that definitely.
It's really depressing to ORD feeling so unappreciated. Almost like me ORDing is a crime. It's my fault for leaving them. And thanks to this incident, which also happend to have occured thanks to my stupidity, i really became a criminal.
That's just how it is in a cruel truth of life. It doesn't matter how much contribution you might have had. It doesn't matter what happens in the past. It doesn't matter how hard you used to work. Countless number of positive events can be neutralised with just a single negativity. In fact, as long as you no longer have anything positive, it's all gone. Add in a negative event, and there you have it. Everything good you ever did is completely erased. This may sound really cynical, maybe even exeggerated, but this is the vibe i'm getting...
By the time all that was settled, it was around 2pm. I went up to my S1 branch, ready to hopefully see the item that might raise my spirits a little. And so nicely as it would all fall together, S1 branch decided to have a half day and i couldn't get my pink ic because they were closed...
Oh well, i couldn't really get any more depressed than i was anyway. Monday it shall be.. I lugged my remaining stuff placed in a trash bag and slowly took a bus followed by train back home. Emoing all the way of course.
I reached home, totally having lost all mood to do anything. The only thing to do was sleep. Sleeping through things at least calmed me down a little. I at least was rationale enough to know i shouldn't stay depressed for long. There was still the ORD celebration with my BMT mates at butter.
Seriously, i was heavily contemplating not turning up at all. It's like i just screwed myself up completely with alcohol the night before. One more time didn't appeal at all. In the end, i decided that if i didn't go, it'd mean that i'm continuing to wallow in self pity, which is something i don't wanna do. So i gave zp a call, arranged something and turned up well... Late...
I guess it was a pretty fun night. I definitely controlled my alcohol intake... I need to remind myself that invincibility was the last thing any liver can be. Normally, i would be able to access how much more alcohol i could take before going bonkers... But i have no idea what screwed me over the night before.
In any case, things are over now, and i've just done a pretty long rant. It's a painful lesson, but i bid Miss Fortune farewell... Thanks for all your help...
It's really quite a smack in the face when you commit something you often preach against, and a big fat package of retribution comes smashing right into you. That was more or less what happened to me. To keep the ramblings short, i don't really feel like elaborating anyway, i got piss drunk and allowed my mobile to be stolen. I feel so stupid i don't even feel like talking to myself.
It's extremely painful, so i can't really listen to any 'advice' or whatever people may have to say to my stupidity. Lessons are supposed to be learnt by yourself... I'm already doing it. Thanks.
It's not the money or the cost of the phone. It's the friggin memories. There were quite abit in there. Photos and videos i don't have backed up. And of course the worst thing of all, all my DAMNED contacts are gone just like that... Bad things just happens all at once. Miss Fortune enjoys giving multiple presents...
In any case, there i was wallowing in self pity after having been robbed, and i made my way straight back to camp early in the morning. I was basically emoing the entire trip back to camp, which mind you is a bloody long trip.
Of course, i knew there was an unsettled issue back in camp. There was already the worry for my 40/50 wallet thing being unsettled and this sort of thing had to happen to me. Basically, i was responsible for the lost of something which can cost up to $2000. That had to be resolved somehow before my OC will sign my clearance for me to ORD.
So there i was, in camp still having a slight hangover, extremely depressed with losing my hand phone and having to force myself to plead, negotiate and talk my way into settling this. It's not a small issue definitely. I can't afford to pay for it, and their idea of 1206 together with my section is just not gonna happen. What kind of shit would i be to drop such a nice bomb on my men just before i ORD?
If there's one thing life as a Spec in the SAF or more particularly an Armour Spec has taught me, is that it's always your fault. It's not your men's fault, it can't be anyone else's fault. It's your fault. Suprisingly, i agree on that completely. When your subordinates do something, it is up to US as 3sg with this stupid rank to ensure that nothing goes wrong. So it is definitely your fault and not theirs. I think it's really important to the new specs to really understand this. It may be a sucky idea but that's just how it is.
Anyway, i'm side tracking... In any case, the only way to settle the issue was that i absorb it as my negligence, but i had to depend on OC to well... Cushion the damage for me...
So it took the entire morning before it was agreed that he will let me off after i write a statement and promise on my integrity that i will return to camp to follow up when called back.
So there i was, with my morale completely drained. From what i heard, ORD is supposed to be a happy event. And even if it were to be sad, it's supposed to be due to stuff like can't bare to leave your men, or some touching good bye event from your company or whatever. Not like that definitely.
It's really depressing to ORD feeling so unappreciated. Almost like me ORDing is a crime. It's my fault for leaving them. And thanks to this incident, which also happend to have occured thanks to my stupidity, i really became a criminal.
That's just how it is in a cruel truth of life. It doesn't matter how much contribution you might have had. It doesn't matter what happens in the past. It doesn't matter how hard you used to work. Countless number of positive events can be neutralised with just a single negativity. In fact, as long as you no longer have anything positive, it's all gone. Add in a negative event, and there you have it. Everything good you ever did is completely erased. This may sound really cynical, maybe even exeggerated, but this is the vibe i'm getting...
By the time all that was settled, it was around 2pm. I went up to my S1 branch, ready to hopefully see the item that might raise my spirits a little. And so nicely as it would all fall together, S1 branch decided to have a half day and i couldn't get my pink ic because they were closed...
Oh well, i couldn't really get any more depressed than i was anyway. Monday it shall be.. I lugged my remaining stuff placed in a trash bag and slowly took a bus followed by train back home. Emoing all the way of course.
I reached home, totally having lost all mood to do anything. The only thing to do was sleep. Sleeping through things at least calmed me down a little. I at least was rationale enough to know i shouldn't stay depressed for long. There was still the ORD celebration with my BMT mates at butter.
Seriously, i was heavily contemplating not turning up at all. It's like i just screwed myself up completely with alcohol the night before. One more time didn't appeal at all. In the end, i decided that if i didn't go, it'd mean that i'm continuing to wallow in self pity, which is something i don't wanna do. So i gave zp a call, arranged something and turned up well... Late...
I guess it was a pretty fun night. I definitely controlled my alcohol intake... I need to remind myself that invincibility was the last thing any liver can be. Normally, i would be able to access how much more alcohol i could take before going bonkers... But i have no idea what screwed me over the night before.
In any case, things are over now, and i've just done a pretty long rant. It's a painful lesson, but i bid Miss Fortune farewell... Thanks for all your help...
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