I guess i'll more or less have to rely on random urges like this to actually update this blog. Anyway, one of those sudden thoughts struck me, and i decided to make a post. Or rather, it's based strongly on boredom of the moment with nothing better to do. Typing kills that sort of boredom see.
The time to leave the country of my birth draws ever closer. There are plenty of mixed feelings involved in this. They mainly involve nostalgia and excitement mixed together in an unhealthy volume. I'm really looking forward to a new life that is very likely going to be extremely different from what i've gone through here. Yet, there are plenty of things i can't bare to let go. Of course i'm talking about things like family friends and all that, but it's mostly the lifestyle.
Generally, when people can't bare certain things, they are usually things that people are used to. If i were to list out all the things i'll miss in Singapore, including the people, it's gonna be a pretty long list. Food would probably be another major factor. Even right now, there're so many food i can instantaneously think of that i'll totally miss... From my upper thomson BCM to 925 chicken rice and kuay chap to the hup lee beehoon under my block and many other stuff that i've come to love in Singapore.
Definitely, i'll miss my dog Brillo a lot. Seriously, i hate to even imagine 2.5 years without seeing my dog. I'll constantly be wondering what his reaction will be when he first sees me after such an extended period of time. It's pretty heart wrenching whenever i try to think about it.
Of course, with all the things i can't bare to let go, these are definitely not gonna hold me back. It's a path i have to take, and i intend to make the fullest out of it.
So let's talk about what i've been doing recently. By God's grace, i'm finally well into the process of getting my driver's licence. This is something i've been procrastinating for way too long already. I'll need his abundant blessings to see me through my TP test one the first attempt.
Of course, i've been giving tuition as a means of survival. Sometimes when i think about it, i find it pretty amazing myself that a person like me can muster forth so much patience when it comes to teaching little kids. Most people who know me on the basal level wouldn't be able to imagine Lendl teaching.
Of course, it really isn't as easy as it seems. Tutoring isn't just about simply telling the stuff to the kids. That's the easy part. It's about imparting and making sure they understand. I've had pretty experating moments, but the experience can be very rewarding in itself. Honestly, the primary 1 kid i was teaching took quite a bit of challenge for me. Thank God my efforts were exercised in his name and hearing the mother's happy voice telling me her son got 90 for maths was pretty rewarding.
Since i'm on that topic, i might as well continue with a self boast of some sort. My other primary 2 kid got the mom to call me in order for him to personally tell me the good news that he got "98/100, highest in class!" Well, good for him and good for me as well i guess. The kid's happy, and i'm comforted to know that i've been doing the right thing.
Anyway, the tutoring will go on till i fly off next year. Both of my tutee's parents are kinda expecting me to like finish teaching the next year stuff before i fly off. Well, i do need that bit of income to survive, so guess i'll continue to do my best. If teaching is truely my calling, i'll have go give it some serious thought in the future. For now however, my next phase in life involves downtown Australia and my education there.
Monday, November 09, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Ooverrdueeee
Ok so it's been a pretty long time since i last posted... Just had the mood all of a sudden to do some random typing, and so here i am... Let's see... It's been a few months since i left the service, let's just say life has been... Mediocre.
I must say, i actually miss army life quite a bit... Insanity no doubt, but there're always feelings of nostalgia whenever you move on. Not like i totally love everything that i went through, but there're just some parts that makes me sit there thinking about some of the old times...
The one thing most people that have ORDed would realise is that army life really is a very simple life. It's at the very least carefree. You may face nonsensical shits, but at least you know they aren't gonna affect the rest of your life all that much. So you can just live everyday as it is. Besides, it's always nice when you constantly have something to look forward to.
I feel it's so much easier to live a life and pass time when you have something to look forward to. It doesn't have to be something big, just every now and then, perhaps an upcoming activity, a meeting with old friends or anything, as long as there's something to look forward to, time passess happier.
In any case, not that my life has nothing to look forward to now, if anything there's the largest thing i'll be looking forward to, but nostalgia is a hard feeling to combat. There's always this mixed feeling going on. One side i really can't wait to get to Australia and begin my all new phase in life, the other side, i just can't bare to let certain things go... Like i haven't enjoyed enough yet...
Right now, giving tuition to kiddies is my main source of time spender and also how i survive on a day to day basis. I'm not getting all that much money, but at least my time is determined by myself. In a way, this is a different sort of lifestyle by itself. I'm beginning to be really impressed with myself for the amount of patience i sometimes have to generate, and i truely thank God for the resillence needed and the emphathy to understand and properly teach the kids.
Now all i need is for all these qualities to apply for the rest of my life. Anyway, it's not like i don't enjoy teaching them. It can be quite fun really. I do get a form of entertainment when i teach, and i guess this might be sort of my calling or something. It feels great when you can make someone understand something they did not previously.
Well, in any case, it won't be long before i have to really start preparing for the next 2.5 years of my life. There're actually quite a number of things i'll need to settle. Visa, confirming my accomodation, getting money over, and the whole load of things i'll need to buy. In the end, money is always the biggest issue. Well, no issue is an issue if we place it unto our father God...
I must say, i actually miss army life quite a bit... Insanity no doubt, but there're always feelings of nostalgia whenever you move on. Not like i totally love everything that i went through, but there're just some parts that makes me sit there thinking about some of the old times...
The one thing most people that have ORDed would realise is that army life really is a very simple life. It's at the very least carefree. You may face nonsensical shits, but at least you know they aren't gonna affect the rest of your life all that much. So you can just live everyday as it is. Besides, it's always nice when you constantly have something to look forward to.
I feel it's so much easier to live a life and pass time when you have something to look forward to. It doesn't have to be something big, just every now and then, perhaps an upcoming activity, a meeting with old friends or anything, as long as there's something to look forward to, time passess happier.
In any case, not that my life has nothing to look forward to now, if anything there's the largest thing i'll be looking forward to, but nostalgia is a hard feeling to combat. There's always this mixed feeling going on. One side i really can't wait to get to Australia and begin my all new phase in life, the other side, i just can't bare to let certain things go... Like i haven't enjoyed enough yet...
Right now, giving tuition to kiddies is my main source of time spender and also how i survive on a day to day basis. I'm not getting all that much money, but at least my time is determined by myself. In a way, this is a different sort of lifestyle by itself. I'm beginning to be really impressed with myself for the amount of patience i sometimes have to generate, and i truely thank God for the resillence needed and the emphathy to understand and properly teach the kids.
Now all i need is for all these qualities to apply for the rest of my life. Anyway, it's not like i don't enjoy teaching them. It can be quite fun really. I do get a form of entertainment when i teach, and i guess this might be sort of my calling or something. It feels great when you can make someone understand something they did not previously.
Well, in any case, it won't be long before i have to really start preparing for the next 2.5 years of my life. There're actually quite a number of things i'll need to settle. Visa, confirming my accomodation, getting money over, and the whole load of things i'll need to buy. In the end, money is always the biggest issue. Well, no issue is an issue if we place it unto our father God...
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Been some time
Well, haven't crapped in some randomness for some time.. So i guess i'm due for some crapping self gratification or something. Anyway, i've ORDed over a month. Feels quite different here and there, but who can't get used to slacking? In any case, i actually do miss 'army days' now that i think about it. There were some pretty awesome moments, as many shitty moments as there are.
And well, it took one whole bloody month for my testimonial and transcript to be ready. This probably sound like some self loving prat kind of thing, but it feels good to read a page long of praises for yourself. That's the deal with testimonials i guess. You basically get good ones if the one writing for you has a good command of English and doesn't hate you. That's all it takes. In any case, there were some funny bits in there though...
Well, i got that laminated picture collage souvenir thingy as well. Pretty nice i guess, at least it's personalised. Although i don't really agree with some of the picture selections and the fact that the thing contains a name other than my own... It's like... Pretty -_- for lack of the right vocabulary to describe...
Anyway, i've basically been doing well, nothing much actually. I've been giving tuition to my nephews and that's about everything constructive that i've been doing. I've been uh... Attempting to keep fit as well... Anyway, thank GOD for savings and blessings. Otherwise i'd be dead by now. Probably need to get my lazy ass to finding more tuition or something.
Still haven't gotten a new phone... I'm actually procrastinating even that. Currently surviving on a charity case by Yilin. Well, the phone works fine soo... I'll get it soon. It's just hard to get my mother to go down with me since the plan is to use her line to upgrade. Otherwise i'll have to wait till end of the year when my own line reaches 21 months.
Hmmm... I seem to feel a somewhat severe lack of inspiration for crapping. Haven't actually compared, but from the fatigue level of my fingers, i reckon this is a pretty short post compared to my uh.. Previous one.. Oh well...
And well, it took one whole bloody month for my testimonial and transcript to be ready. This probably sound like some self loving prat kind of thing, but it feels good to read a page long of praises for yourself. That's the deal with testimonials i guess. You basically get good ones if the one writing for you has a good command of English and doesn't hate you. That's all it takes. In any case, there were some funny bits in there though...
Well, i got that laminated picture collage souvenir thingy as well. Pretty nice i guess, at least it's personalised. Although i don't really agree with some of the picture selections and the fact that the thing contains a name other than my own... It's like... Pretty -_- for lack of the right vocabulary to describe...
Anyway, i've basically been doing well, nothing much actually. I've been giving tuition to my nephews and that's about everything constructive that i've been doing. I've been uh... Attempting to keep fit as well... Anyway, thank GOD for savings and blessings. Otherwise i'd be dead by now. Probably need to get my lazy ass to finding more tuition or something.
Still haven't gotten a new phone... I'm actually procrastinating even that. Currently surviving on a charity case by Yilin. Well, the phone works fine soo... I'll get it soon. It's just hard to get my mother to go down with me since the plan is to use her line to upgrade. Otherwise i'll have to wait till end of the year when my own line reaches 21 months.
Hmmm... I seem to feel a somewhat severe lack of inspiration for crapping. Haven't actually compared, but from the fatigue level of my fingers, i reckon this is a pretty short post compared to my uh.. Previous one.. Oh well...
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Some randomness...
Had a sudden urge to crap around a little, so i decided to make a new post... Well, i've kinda gotten over my devastating loss... In the midst of trying to gather back my contacts. I guess this kinda saves me the trouble of pruning my contacts where i'll be sitting there thinking 'should i delete this fella's number'. The numbers i do manage to get back are probably the ones that matter.
In any case, i've gotten the long awaited pink object. Well, a little late officially, but you know, it doesn't really make a difference. Then again, now that when you actually reach that day you've heard so much about, i'm not really getting the hype that it's supposed to bring... Can't really feel any joy if you can call it that actually...
I guess just like enlisting needed getting used to, so would ORDing... In any case, i'll probably still need to go back to camp one of these days... Friggin incompetent administration this battallion has... It's not as if we suddenly decided to ORD or anything. Whatever excuses they can churn up, all it takes is for them to plan their stuff ahead. What kind of shit battallion can't even give us our transcripts and testimonial on time? They can even tell me 'we have no idea when it'll be ready'
Well done guys... Anyway, i always pictured my ORD to contain some emotional moments where they actually have some kind of event of farewell or whatever you wanna call it. Or at least have some quality goodbye moments... It was completely not present. I went back to camp on a day where most of the people were out for live firing. This probably contributes to why this ORD feeling is so mellow and lacking...
Anyway seriously, i don't know what i want. Am i looking for some kind of touching farewell or elaborated well wishes? Have i reduced myself to such a level that i'm actually seeking such forms of gratification? Maybe i'm just so convinced with myself that i've worked too hard for my net worth that i need some form of gratitude or appreciation to uh... Satisfy my sub-consious grudging urges... I don't even know if i'm making any sense, but there's just this damned feeling i can't get over.
A little time'll probably clear everything. But i think i can say there's definitely alot of nostalgia going for me. Probably much more than anyone else from what i've observed so far. In fact, i'm beginning to think i'm the only insane person to actually feel like that. I mean it's like, for most of my peers, they basically can confidently say they don't give a shit about what happens to this company/battallion or anything else that happens in SAF. Some can even go to the extend of almost severing ties with everyone just like that.
But i definitely can't. I'll still think about how they're gonna do. I'll still think about whether this bunch of our 'sucessors' if you can call them that will prove to be of any worth. I'll still wonder if they'll do well in Wallaby at the end of this year. I'll still basically just wonder how they're all doing. Seeing the state of the place and the direction things are going towards from the time i'm leaving, it doesn't look good at all actually.
I don't know what this organisation is doing, but their training schools for commanders are seriously becoming bull shit. The name they coined called Specialist is DEFINITELY no where an apt description for the 3sgs they're churning out. Specialist? In what friggin way do these insecure, unsure and practically untrained people resemble someone who should be named a specialist? They barely have the most basic of the knowledge they NEED to have for their job to be done. It's ridiculous. I have no idea what they're doing. Can you even call things training with the state they are at when they're slapped their ranks on?
And don't get me started on the Officers. Evidently, it is just going to get worst. I don't know which moron came up with this idea that they should stop screwing cadets and give them the 'ai de jiao yu' treatment, but wake up your bloody idea. You're gonna slap this rank on some kid that forces an old seasoned warrant officer in the army to pay compliments to them and the way they get this rank is by having a fun time in OCS?
Hello? WTF is up with that? When you give someone power, they NEED to understand the feeling and hardships of getting such power. When you give someone responsibilities, they NEED to understand the difficulties of baring such responsibilities. When you give someone the ability to completely screw a person up, they NEED to have been completely screwed by someone before, in order to understand what it feels like.
I mean, would you willingly go through shit that is put through to you by someone who has never been through shit himself? To put that in literal translation, let's say you have NO CHOICE but to put your face into a pile of shit. Would you feel better if the person who told you to do it has done the same thing himself or if that person is someone who don't even know what shit looks like?(I know that is logically impossible, but i'm just trying to illustrate a point)
That might not be the best analogy, but i think it works enough to get my point across. Let's just say you won't do shit a pussy asks you to do. And if you don't wack these cadets, they all just become pussy officers who have nothing to back them up.
Seriously, no offence to the new people who get into OCS and are basically the target of my sudden flaming outburst, but i'm targetting at the stupid system. Not you guys. Ain't really your fault actually. But the thing is, what is this organisation coming to if OCS cadets are actually having FUN in their training? They're actually enjoying every moment of it? OCS has become EASY to get by? WTF IS UP WITH THAT???!!!!!!! OCS is SUPPOSED to be a shitty place. That's what makes obtaining the rank so valuable.
It's becoming more and more of a joke as time goes by for the SAF to call itself a military organisation. A military is supposed to be a tough place. Yeah i know we're getting all 3G and stuff, but shouldn't basic resillence be still a requirement if you wanna be called a SOLDIER? I really don't think Singaporean men need this pussy treatment. So many generations have gotten by with WAY tougher NS training. They really shouldn't make it any easier than it's already becoming. That just makes things pointless.
They actually think it's a good idea to have this hotline for random idiots to call up and whine about how their 'mistreated' conveniently exegerrating things up by about fifty fold most of the time and they choose to listen to this person with nothing to back up his claims and have no contribution for the organisation and give problems to the people in the organisation who actually work. No wonder no one wants to work for this place. No wonder good regulars are getting sick of this place.
Let's face it. When you're scared of parents complaining to the MP, complaining about this and that, in the end, you're NOT a military. You're no different from any school or whatever.
I may sound like some crazy garang guy that enjoys tough training and loves NS. Trust me, i'm anything but that. Just like any other average Singaporean, i don't like the fact that NS has wasted 2 years of my time. But if i already have no choice but to waste 2 years of my life, i wanna make this 2 years at least worth something different. If i'm gonna be spending 2 years of my life supposedly training to be a soldier as i'm told and i turn out to be just another pussy, i see even more no point in things.
Thank GOD i think my 2 years wasn't as pussified. I can't say for sure for the future generations to come. I'm probably really crazy though...
In any case, i've gotten the long awaited pink object. Well, a little late officially, but you know, it doesn't really make a difference. Then again, now that when you actually reach that day you've heard so much about, i'm not really getting the hype that it's supposed to bring... Can't really feel any joy if you can call it that actually...
I guess just like enlisting needed getting used to, so would ORDing... In any case, i'll probably still need to go back to camp one of these days... Friggin incompetent administration this battallion has... It's not as if we suddenly decided to ORD or anything. Whatever excuses they can churn up, all it takes is for them to plan their stuff ahead. What kind of shit battallion can't even give us our transcripts and testimonial on time? They can even tell me 'we have no idea when it'll be ready'
Well done guys... Anyway, i always pictured my ORD to contain some emotional moments where they actually have some kind of event of farewell or whatever you wanna call it. Or at least have some quality goodbye moments... It was completely not present. I went back to camp on a day where most of the people were out for live firing. This probably contributes to why this ORD feeling is so mellow and lacking...
Anyway seriously, i don't know what i want. Am i looking for some kind of touching farewell or elaborated well wishes? Have i reduced myself to such a level that i'm actually seeking such forms of gratification? Maybe i'm just so convinced with myself that i've worked too hard for my net worth that i need some form of gratitude or appreciation to uh... Satisfy my sub-consious grudging urges... I don't even know if i'm making any sense, but there's just this damned feeling i can't get over.
A little time'll probably clear everything. But i think i can say there's definitely alot of nostalgia going for me. Probably much more than anyone else from what i've observed so far. In fact, i'm beginning to think i'm the only insane person to actually feel like that. I mean it's like, for most of my peers, they basically can confidently say they don't give a shit about what happens to this company/battallion or anything else that happens in SAF. Some can even go to the extend of almost severing ties with everyone just like that.
But i definitely can't. I'll still think about how they're gonna do. I'll still think about whether this bunch of our 'sucessors' if you can call them that will prove to be of any worth. I'll still wonder if they'll do well in Wallaby at the end of this year. I'll still basically just wonder how they're all doing. Seeing the state of the place and the direction things are going towards from the time i'm leaving, it doesn't look good at all actually.
I don't know what this organisation is doing, but their training schools for commanders are seriously becoming bull shit. The name they coined called Specialist is DEFINITELY no where an apt description for the 3sgs they're churning out. Specialist? In what friggin way do these insecure, unsure and practically untrained people resemble someone who should be named a specialist? They barely have the most basic of the knowledge they NEED to have for their job to be done. It's ridiculous. I have no idea what they're doing. Can you even call things training with the state they are at when they're slapped their ranks on?
And don't get me started on the Officers. Evidently, it is just going to get worst. I don't know which moron came up with this idea that they should stop screwing cadets and give them the 'ai de jiao yu' treatment, but wake up your bloody idea. You're gonna slap this rank on some kid that forces an old seasoned warrant officer in the army to pay compliments to them and the way they get this rank is by having a fun time in OCS?
Hello? WTF is up with that? When you give someone power, they NEED to understand the feeling and hardships of getting such power. When you give someone responsibilities, they NEED to understand the difficulties of baring such responsibilities. When you give someone the ability to completely screw a person up, they NEED to have been completely screwed by someone before, in order to understand what it feels like.
I mean, would you willingly go through shit that is put through to you by someone who has never been through shit himself? To put that in literal translation, let's say you have NO CHOICE but to put your face into a pile of shit. Would you feel better if the person who told you to do it has done the same thing himself or if that person is someone who don't even know what shit looks like?(I know that is logically impossible, but i'm just trying to illustrate a point)
That might not be the best analogy, but i think it works enough to get my point across. Let's just say you won't do shit a pussy asks you to do. And if you don't wack these cadets, they all just become pussy officers who have nothing to back them up.
Seriously, no offence to the new people who get into OCS and are basically the target of my sudden flaming outburst, but i'm targetting at the stupid system. Not you guys. Ain't really your fault actually. But the thing is, what is this organisation coming to if OCS cadets are actually having FUN in their training? They're actually enjoying every moment of it? OCS has become EASY to get by? WTF IS UP WITH THAT???!!!!!!! OCS is SUPPOSED to be a shitty place. That's what makes obtaining the rank so valuable.
It's becoming more and more of a joke as time goes by for the SAF to call itself a military organisation. A military is supposed to be a tough place. Yeah i know we're getting all 3G and stuff, but shouldn't basic resillence be still a requirement if you wanna be called a SOLDIER? I really don't think Singaporean men need this pussy treatment. So many generations have gotten by with WAY tougher NS training. They really shouldn't make it any easier than it's already becoming. That just makes things pointless.
They actually think it's a good idea to have this hotline for random idiots to call up and whine about how their 'mistreated' conveniently exegerrating things up by about fifty fold most of the time and they choose to listen to this person with nothing to back up his claims and have no contribution for the organisation and give problems to the people in the organisation who actually work. No wonder no one wants to work for this place. No wonder good regulars are getting sick of this place.
Let's face it. When you're scared of parents complaining to the MP, complaining about this and that, in the end, you're NOT a military. You're no different from any school or whatever.
I may sound like some crazy garang guy that enjoys tough training and loves NS. Trust me, i'm anything but that. Just like any other average Singaporean, i don't like the fact that NS has wasted 2 years of my time. But if i already have no choice but to waste 2 years of my life, i wanna make this 2 years at least worth something different. If i'm gonna be spending 2 years of my life supposedly training to be a soldier as i'm told and i turn out to be just another pussy, i see even more no point in things.
Thank GOD i think my 2 years wasn't as pussified. I can't say for sure for the future generations to come. I'm probably really crazy though...
Saturday, June 13, 2009
ORD day? Not a good day i'm afraid...
Lady luck's daughter Miss Fortune seems to love me quite alot... Well, she decided to pay me a big suprise visit on this day that was supposed to be an instrumentally happy day. Let's just say i've never felt more retarded in my life.
It's really quite a smack in the face when you commit something you often preach against, and a big fat package of retribution comes smashing right into you. That was more or less what happened to me. To keep the ramblings short, i don't really feel like elaborating anyway, i got piss drunk and allowed my mobile to be stolen. I feel so stupid i don't even feel like talking to myself.
It's extremely painful, so i can't really listen to any 'advice' or whatever people may have to say to my stupidity. Lessons are supposed to be learnt by yourself... I'm already doing it. Thanks.
It's not the money or the cost of the phone. It's the friggin memories. There were quite abit in there. Photos and videos i don't have backed up. And of course the worst thing of all, all my DAMNED contacts are gone just like that... Bad things just happens all at once. Miss Fortune enjoys giving multiple presents...
In any case, there i was wallowing in self pity after having been robbed, and i made my way straight back to camp early in the morning. I was basically emoing the entire trip back to camp, which mind you is a bloody long trip.
Of course, i knew there was an unsettled issue back in camp. There was already the worry for my 40/50 wallet thing being unsettled and this sort of thing had to happen to me. Basically, i was responsible for the lost of something which can cost up to $2000. That had to be resolved somehow before my OC will sign my clearance for me to ORD.
So there i was, in camp still having a slight hangover, extremely depressed with losing my hand phone and having to force myself to plead, negotiate and talk my way into settling this. It's not a small issue definitely. I can't afford to pay for it, and their idea of 1206 together with my section is just not gonna happen. What kind of shit would i be to drop such a nice bomb on my men just before i ORD?
If there's one thing life as a Spec in the SAF or more particularly an Armour Spec has taught me, is that it's always your fault. It's not your men's fault, it can't be anyone else's fault. It's your fault. Suprisingly, i agree on that completely. When your subordinates do something, it is up to US as 3sg with this stupid rank to ensure that nothing goes wrong. So it is definitely your fault and not theirs. I think it's really important to the new specs to really understand this. It may be a sucky idea but that's just how it is.
Anyway, i'm side tracking... In any case, the only way to settle the issue was that i absorb it as my negligence, but i had to depend on OC to well... Cushion the damage for me...
So it took the entire morning before it was agreed that he will let me off after i write a statement and promise on my integrity that i will return to camp to follow up when called back.
So there i was, with my morale completely drained. From what i heard, ORD is supposed to be a happy event. And even if it were to be sad, it's supposed to be due to stuff like can't bare to leave your men, or some touching good bye event from your company or whatever. Not like that definitely.
It's really depressing to ORD feeling so unappreciated. Almost like me ORDing is a crime. It's my fault for leaving them. And thanks to this incident, which also happend to have occured thanks to my stupidity, i really became a criminal.
That's just how it is in a cruel truth of life. It doesn't matter how much contribution you might have had. It doesn't matter what happens in the past. It doesn't matter how hard you used to work. Countless number of positive events can be neutralised with just a single negativity. In fact, as long as you no longer have anything positive, it's all gone. Add in a negative event, and there you have it. Everything good you ever did is completely erased. This may sound really cynical, maybe even exeggerated, but this is the vibe i'm getting...
By the time all that was settled, it was around 2pm. I went up to my S1 branch, ready to hopefully see the item that might raise my spirits a little. And so nicely as it would all fall together, S1 branch decided to have a half day and i couldn't get my pink ic because they were closed...
Oh well, i couldn't really get any more depressed than i was anyway. Monday it shall be.. I lugged my remaining stuff placed in a trash bag and slowly took a bus followed by train back home. Emoing all the way of course.
I reached home, totally having lost all mood to do anything. The only thing to do was sleep. Sleeping through things at least calmed me down a little. I at least was rationale enough to know i shouldn't stay depressed for long. There was still the ORD celebration with my BMT mates at butter.
Seriously, i was heavily contemplating not turning up at all. It's like i just screwed myself up completely with alcohol the night before. One more time didn't appeal at all. In the end, i decided that if i didn't go, it'd mean that i'm continuing to wallow in self pity, which is something i don't wanna do. So i gave zp a call, arranged something and turned up well... Late...
I guess it was a pretty fun night. I definitely controlled my alcohol intake... I need to remind myself that invincibility was the last thing any liver can be. Normally, i would be able to access how much more alcohol i could take before going bonkers... But i have no idea what screwed me over the night before.
In any case, things are over now, and i've just done a pretty long rant. It's a painful lesson, but i bid Miss Fortune farewell... Thanks for all your help...
It's really quite a smack in the face when you commit something you often preach against, and a big fat package of retribution comes smashing right into you. That was more or less what happened to me. To keep the ramblings short, i don't really feel like elaborating anyway, i got piss drunk and allowed my mobile to be stolen. I feel so stupid i don't even feel like talking to myself.
It's extremely painful, so i can't really listen to any 'advice' or whatever people may have to say to my stupidity. Lessons are supposed to be learnt by yourself... I'm already doing it. Thanks.
It's not the money or the cost of the phone. It's the friggin memories. There were quite abit in there. Photos and videos i don't have backed up. And of course the worst thing of all, all my DAMNED contacts are gone just like that... Bad things just happens all at once. Miss Fortune enjoys giving multiple presents...
In any case, there i was wallowing in self pity after having been robbed, and i made my way straight back to camp early in the morning. I was basically emoing the entire trip back to camp, which mind you is a bloody long trip.
Of course, i knew there was an unsettled issue back in camp. There was already the worry for my 40/50 wallet thing being unsettled and this sort of thing had to happen to me. Basically, i was responsible for the lost of something which can cost up to $2000. That had to be resolved somehow before my OC will sign my clearance for me to ORD.
So there i was, in camp still having a slight hangover, extremely depressed with losing my hand phone and having to force myself to plead, negotiate and talk my way into settling this. It's not a small issue definitely. I can't afford to pay for it, and their idea of 1206 together with my section is just not gonna happen. What kind of shit would i be to drop such a nice bomb on my men just before i ORD?
If there's one thing life as a Spec in the SAF or more particularly an Armour Spec has taught me, is that it's always your fault. It's not your men's fault, it can't be anyone else's fault. It's your fault. Suprisingly, i agree on that completely. When your subordinates do something, it is up to US as 3sg with this stupid rank to ensure that nothing goes wrong. So it is definitely your fault and not theirs. I think it's really important to the new specs to really understand this. It may be a sucky idea but that's just how it is.
Anyway, i'm side tracking... In any case, the only way to settle the issue was that i absorb it as my negligence, but i had to depend on OC to well... Cushion the damage for me...
So it took the entire morning before it was agreed that he will let me off after i write a statement and promise on my integrity that i will return to camp to follow up when called back.
So there i was, with my morale completely drained. From what i heard, ORD is supposed to be a happy event. And even if it were to be sad, it's supposed to be due to stuff like can't bare to leave your men, or some touching good bye event from your company or whatever. Not like that definitely.
It's really depressing to ORD feeling so unappreciated. Almost like me ORDing is a crime. It's my fault for leaving them. And thanks to this incident, which also happend to have occured thanks to my stupidity, i really became a criminal.
That's just how it is in a cruel truth of life. It doesn't matter how much contribution you might have had. It doesn't matter what happens in the past. It doesn't matter how hard you used to work. Countless number of positive events can be neutralised with just a single negativity. In fact, as long as you no longer have anything positive, it's all gone. Add in a negative event, and there you have it. Everything good you ever did is completely erased. This may sound really cynical, maybe even exeggerated, but this is the vibe i'm getting...
By the time all that was settled, it was around 2pm. I went up to my S1 branch, ready to hopefully see the item that might raise my spirits a little. And so nicely as it would all fall together, S1 branch decided to have a half day and i couldn't get my pink ic because they were closed...
Oh well, i couldn't really get any more depressed than i was anyway. Monday it shall be.. I lugged my remaining stuff placed in a trash bag and slowly took a bus followed by train back home. Emoing all the way of course.
I reached home, totally having lost all mood to do anything. The only thing to do was sleep. Sleeping through things at least calmed me down a little. I at least was rationale enough to know i shouldn't stay depressed for long. There was still the ORD celebration with my BMT mates at butter.
Seriously, i was heavily contemplating not turning up at all. It's like i just screwed myself up completely with alcohol the night before. One more time didn't appeal at all. In the end, i decided that if i didn't go, it'd mean that i'm continuing to wallow in self pity, which is something i don't wanna do. So i gave zp a call, arranged something and turned up well... Late...
I guess it was a pretty fun night. I definitely controlled my alcohol intake... I need to remind myself that invincibility was the last thing any liver can be. Normally, i would be able to access how much more alcohol i could take before going bonkers... But i have no idea what screwed me over the night before.
In any case, things are over now, and i've just done a pretty long rant. It's a painful lesson, but i bid Miss Fortune farewell... Thanks for all your help...
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Somehow 22 seems more significant than 21...
Let's start off by saying it's nearing... It's approaching... It's the first time i'm looking forward to getting something pink...
Apart from that, i just 'celebrated' my 22nd birthday few days back. Weeellll.... I basically spent like 300 bucks opening 2 damn bottles at dbl o. Was it worth it? Well, i did have fun. The whole birthday boy getting drunk thing totally didn't happen to me though... It was kinda like halfway through my table was filled with people i didn't know thanks to Paul...
Well, i did drink quite a bit actually... But i guess i was too busy running around to feel drunk... If i had been sitting at my table continuously drinking, perhaps someone'll need to send me home or something.
Anyway, i was pretty touched by the turnout from my platoon... 9 men plus my PS came... Thank you everyone, although it wasn't a very long night, but it was still pretty fun.
Thank you Wei Jia, Charlie, Jack, Sean, Jian Ming, Eugene, Kai Hock, Kai Boon and even Jun Horng whom actually never club before.... And of course to PLATOON SERGEANT Wong Kin Sum... Hahaha....
It is people like them that sometimes make me feel my dog days as a 3sg in this fucking retarded batallion were not that fucked up and in fact somewhat worth while after all.
Of course i have to thank Wee Siang for being the only Kaffir Spec there... And well, Callen and Willie, and those Jaguar men... Thanks for the shots... Haha...
That night also happened to be the first time i see someone go so friggin bonkers drunk in my life. But, i shall not elaborate on that matter for my own well being........
And then, i'll go on to give my thanks to everyone else whom i met there, friends at dbl o and friends of friends who randomly appeared at my table who wished me a happy birthday.
Of course, i'll extend my thanks also to ALL my other friends who wished me in one form or another.
Now actually, i don't even think there're many people who actually read this or for hell is even aware that i have a blog. Nontheless, this fulfils the ranting desires and at least i thanked somewhere... :p
Back to the subject of pink. Well, it's drawing ever closer... We've all been chased out of the bunk and are now cramming together like refugees. I still have quite alot of stuff i need to bring back while most others have already finished moving... No thanks to a certain guard duty... <_<
I've SORT OF handed over already. Well, i've given my best shot... I talked to both my 'understudies' and although i can't really judge their response since there really wasn't much of a response, i can't really be negative about it either. There's only so much an NSF going to ORD can do. As much as i might be concerned about how my section and platoon are gonna be the months down the road, there really isn't much i can do.
I've complained all i can, feed back everything i can think of, well maybe not everything, but most at least... I'll see if i have more chances to kp somemore or something... I've even attempted to talk to the new specs and everything i can think of. That's definitely something no one else would do....
The only thing left i can do to make a difference would be to extend ORD, WHICH is OBVIOUSLY IMPOSSIBLE.
They call this Li(4) Bu(4) Cong(2) Xin(1) as a chinese idiom. I'll miss the guys, i'll miss some of the stuff... I definitely won't miss many things, which i guess when you weigh them all out, the sucky things just outweigh the good stuff by too much...
All i can say is ALL THE BEST PLATOON 4 and KAFFIR COMPANY. I'll miss you guys, good luck and STAY STRONG! Just half a year more, Wallaby and you're all done...
Damnit i sound like some garang army loving prat....
Apart from that, i just 'celebrated' my 22nd birthday few days back. Weeellll.... I basically spent like 300 bucks opening 2 damn bottles at dbl o. Was it worth it? Well, i did have fun. The whole birthday boy getting drunk thing totally didn't happen to me though... It was kinda like halfway through my table was filled with people i didn't know thanks to Paul...
Well, i did drink quite a bit actually... But i guess i was too busy running around to feel drunk... If i had been sitting at my table continuously drinking, perhaps someone'll need to send me home or something.
Anyway, i was pretty touched by the turnout from my platoon... 9 men plus my PS came... Thank you everyone, although it wasn't a very long night, but it was still pretty fun.
Thank you Wei Jia, Charlie, Jack, Sean, Jian Ming, Eugene, Kai Hock, Kai Boon and even Jun Horng whom actually never club before.... And of course to PLATOON SERGEANT Wong Kin Sum... Hahaha....
It is people like them that sometimes make me feel my dog days as a 3sg in this fucking retarded batallion were not that fucked up and in fact somewhat worth while after all.
Of course i have to thank Wee Siang for being the only Kaffir Spec there... And well, Callen and Willie, and those Jaguar men... Thanks for the shots... Haha...
That night also happened to be the first time i see someone go so friggin bonkers drunk in my life. But, i shall not elaborate on that matter for my own well being........
And then, i'll go on to give my thanks to everyone else whom i met there, friends at dbl o and friends of friends who randomly appeared at my table who wished me a happy birthday.
Of course, i'll extend my thanks also to ALL my other friends who wished me in one form or another.
Now actually, i don't even think there're many people who actually read this or for hell is even aware that i have a blog. Nontheless, this fulfils the ranting desires and at least i thanked somewhere... :p
Back to the subject of pink. Well, it's drawing ever closer... We've all been chased out of the bunk and are now cramming together like refugees. I still have quite alot of stuff i need to bring back while most others have already finished moving... No thanks to a certain guard duty... <_<
I've SORT OF handed over already. Well, i've given my best shot... I talked to both my 'understudies' and although i can't really judge their response since there really wasn't much of a response, i can't really be negative about it either. There's only so much an NSF going to ORD can do. As much as i might be concerned about how my section and platoon are gonna be the months down the road, there really isn't much i can do.
I've complained all i can, feed back everything i can think of, well maybe not everything, but most at least... I'll see if i have more chances to kp somemore or something... I've even attempted to talk to the new specs and everything i can think of. That's definitely something no one else would do....
The only thing left i can do to make a difference would be to extend ORD, WHICH is OBVIOUSLY IMPOSSIBLE.
They call this Li(4) Bu(4) Cong(2) Xin(1) as a chinese idiom. I'll miss the guys, i'll miss some of the stuff... I definitely won't miss many things, which i guess when you weigh them all out, the sucky things just outweigh the good stuff by too much...
All i can say is ALL THE BEST PLATOON 4 and KAFFIR COMPANY. I'll miss you guys, good luck and STAY STRONG! Just half a year more, Wallaby and you're all done...
Damnit i sound like some garang army loving prat....
Sunday, April 19, 2009
A close shave?
Techically, i should be on my way peacefully to the long awaited civilian conversion course... I'm done with my final full troop and i'd say this one gave me something to etch within my memory for well.. A bloody long time indeed.
Now as a 'proud' member of the Armour family, everyone is well familiar with the overturning drill. Especially as an armour spec, this seemingly senseless thing is basically drilled into our minds from the first time i was introduced to my dearest BX.
Now i've got to be one pretty damn suay sonnovabiatch to have to execute that damn drill for real just before i ORD. It may seem pretty funny after that, but side turning ain't fun. If my vehicle had turtled, God knows what would have happened.
In any case, thankfully the fall was pretty gradual. My vehicle reversed too quickly down a side ditch with soil softened by the rain. It slided down pretty slowly, but irreversibly. My fall was actually pretty comfortable on my part. Standing within my cupola, i just fell together with the vehicle as it side turned and was basically lying by my side.
But it did freak the hell out of me wondering how's my men at the back. They evacuated pretty quickly. Everyone was out before i even had a chance to find out how they were. The fact that they were drenched with diesel leaking out of the vehicle probably accelerated their exit from the vehicle.
Well there you have it. The stupid action of leaning down compacting yourself and hugging each other works. My entire section executed the vehicle overturning drill perfectly.
No one was hurt except for a few knocks and some aftermath effect of being drenched in diesel resulting in some weird rash on some of their skin. But thank God nothing else happened.
In any case, no one seemed too concerned over the incident. The mission carried on almost immediately, i had to endure some variour highly annoying persons visiting and asking some highly annoying questions. My vehicle got towed out and is basically screwed now, aaaand i'm still on my way to civilian conversion course peacefully....
Hopefully...
Now as a 'proud' member of the Armour family, everyone is well familiar with the overturning drill. Especially as an armour spec, this seemingly senseless thing is basically drilled into our minds from the first time i was introduced to my dearest BX.
Now i've got to be one pretty damn suay sonnovabiatch to have to execute that damn drill for real just before i ORD. It may seem pretty funny after that, but side turning ain't fun. If my vehicle had turtled, God knows what would have happened.
In any case, thankfully the fall was pretty gradual. My vehicle reversed too quickly down a side ditch with soil softened by the rain. It slided down pretty slowly, but irreversibly. My fall was actually pretty comfortable on my part. Standing within my cupola, i just fell together with the vehicle as it side turned and was basically lying by my side.
But it did freak the hell out of me wondering how's my men at the back. They evacuated pretty quickly. Everyone was out before i even had a chance to find out how they were. The fact that they were drenched with diesel leaking out of the vehicle probably accelerated their exit from the vehicle.
Well there you have it. The stupid action of leaning down compacting yourself and hugging each other works. My entire section executed the vehicle overturning drill perfectly.
No one was hurt except for a few knocks and some aftermath effect of being drenched in diesel resulting in some weird rash on some of their skin. But thank God nothing else happened.
In any case, no one seemed too concerned over the incident. The mission carried on almost immediately, i had to endure some variour highly annoying persons visiting and asking some highly annoying questions. My vehicle got towed out and is basically screwed now, aaaand i'm still on my way to civilian conversion course peacefully....
Hopefully...
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